Sometimes I wish someone could just "figure me out"....my thoughts, my deepest desires, when I need a push, when and how to comfort me.
I just wanna feel safe and secure...for even just a bit. I constantly feel like I have to stay on guard (from ed), it's extremely tiring...and some days I just don't have the energy to fight for myself, I wish someone would fight for me during those times, or at fight with me. I sound so melodramtic...I'm quite fortunate actually, have plenty of great people in my life, so why is it that I can't seem to find anyone to help me through this?
Perhaps there isn't ONE "right person"...I seem to find flaws in everyone that tries to help me. I can't seem to fully trust anyone....so many times I wish I could just "let go" for a little bit. Have someone else I "trust" deal with decisions about food, and what not....the challenge is finding someone I trust to fully to able to confide in all these hang ups I have with food and exercise. I have people in whom I trust and value their opinion, but they don't understand the nature/mindset of someone who struggles with an ed.
Then I have the ones who know and are more familiar with the ed stuff, but I can't seem to find an "ed professional" that I trust. I just disagree with....well...yeah.
Sometimes I wonder if there is there is just something wrong with me, or if it's that I truly just have not found the right support. Sigh....i don't know....
I have a long day ahead, not sure what I'm gonna do with it....hope I find the drive to get up and stop moping around....
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